Sabtu, 29 Oktober 2011


Is anyone alive out there?

Hi... Long time no see.
It's me again, posting about something in my life.
For now, in this post, I want to talk about my dream.

I just realized it. My "Real" Dream.
Once, I decided that I want to be a writer, because I want to be remembered.
This might be cliche, but to think, I might just...
I... Want to live forever.
Yes, just like villains in comic books or cartoons, I actually want to live forever.
But, not that kind of infinity life they want.
In comic books, they want to live forever as human, and to get in God's Territory.
But, that's... Tough. Quite impossible, if I have to say.
What I want, is to live in any kind of shape in this world.
You know what I mean?
Just like to live as a memory in one's mind.
Or to live as a word in a book.
Or to live as a scratch in a picture.
Or to live in a shape, in my own world.

Maybe that's the main reason I want to be a writer, actually.
To leave a single fragment of me in this world to be remembered by others.
To live as another shape in this world.
To create my own world, where I can actually live there as another being.

Muhammad, Isa, Einstein, even Hitler had done it (though Hitler did it wrong, but you have to admit that he did it). Really long time before I was born.
They had reached that kind of world. They are now living in another shape in this world.
I know this is big, but, don't they say having a big dream is the start of having a big future?
Don't they say having a big dream is a good thing to begin with?

Yes, to think about it, this really is my dream.
To live forever in any kind of shape.
Hahahaha... I may be wishy-washy, but I really want to live forever by doing something BIG in this world.
BIG enough to change people's mind.
BIG enough to move people's heart.
BIG enough to... even be remembered by God as a being that exists in the world He created.

Tough... Really tough...
But, there's a way...
I can think a way.... I know I can think a way...
One thing is by words...
I will create words that will be the sign of my existence...
Words that will do everything to make my dream comes true...
Words that will describe me as who I am, and words that will change me into another kind of creature in a world...
To be a writer...

Or by actions...
Something that will change the world.
Something that will make me remembered as "Somebody" in this world.
Something that even God will accept my existence.

Yes, I want to live forever.
As long as Devil can live.
Or even longer.

Yes, I want to live forever.
In a future where I'm not in.
But still exist there.

Yes, I want to live forever.
As different things, as different existences, as different creatures, as different shapes, as different presence,
As a different.
Even though...
I'm not even aware of it.


Is anyone alive out there?
"My Dream?
I want to live forever."