Prologue : In The Middle of Nowhere
The girl was alone.
In the world where there was nobody.
The girl was sitting alone in the middle of nowhere.
In the world where she couldn’t even see the reflection of her own figure.
The girl was hugging her knees and mindlessly staring at the orange sky.
“This is the worst. This is the best. Which one is it?”
The girl was reflexively muttering to herself.
Why did she say that?
Knowing that there was nobody to hear her.
Knowing that there was nobody to listen to her complaint.
Knowing that there was nobody... Besides her, why?
Why did she say those words?
Why did she keep on muttering those berates?
Even so knowing the meaningless efforts, she kept on complaining.
She kept on saying her minds until they were evaporated and dissolved into the sky.
Everything was meaningless.
Everything was unreasonable.
Everything didn’t have any value anymore to her.
Even so, if they were the same, it didn’t matter that if she did something, even the smallest thing, right?
The girl didn’t need to say anything,
The girl didn’t need to do anything,
The girl didn’t need to think about anything,
The girl... didn’t need to feel anything.
The girl... didn’t need to hope for anything.
The girl... didn’t need to live anymore.
Even so... Even so... In the middle of that nowhere. Even she didn’t need to have anything, if she could, it didn’t matter if she did, right?
Even if the girl didn’t need to say anything, it didn’t matter if she kept on talking, right?
Even if the girl didn’t need to do anything, it didn’t matter if she kept on dilly-dallying, right?
Even if the girl didn’t need to do anything, it didn’t matter if she kept on spacing off, right?
Even if the girl really didn’t need to feel anything, it didn’t matter if she kept on blaming, right?
Even if the girl really didn’t need to hope for anything, it didn’t matter if she kept on wishing, right?
Even if the girl really didn’t need to live, it didn’t matter if she kept on living, right?
And then, the girl stood up. She cleaned her beautiful and frilly clothes that had clinging onto her body from the start. She sighed, a sigh full of tiredness. She looked around. There she saw nothing. A crumbled and destroyed city filled with nothing. The buildings had become ruins. The earth had been scorched. The air had been dirtied. The trees had dried, turned into ashes. There were many cracks on the ground, filled with darkness. There was nothing. Literally, there was nothing. Even so... Again... Even so knowing there was nothing for her, she kept on living. Even there was nothing she could do about it, even there was nothing she needed to do in that nothingness, she kept on living. Besides nothing, in the middle nothing, thinking of nothing, filled with nothing.
“Now then... What should I do?”
While placing both of her hands on her waist, she whispered a little hope to her own ears. She knew that she didn’t need to do anything. Yet, she still somehow wanted to whisper that little sentence. She still somehow wanted to hear that voice of her own.
The wind blew towards her. While bringing only a little dust, the wind brushed against her face. She closed her eyes, then she took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. The wind satisfied her. She didn’t know how could that wind somehow satisfied her. She felt nothing special, yet she didn’t feel nothing at all. She wanted to know. She just wanted to know, were there any other winds like from just now? If so, then could they satisfy her again like the wind just now? Or... are there any other things that could satisfy here like the wind just now?
And the most important, why did she feel satisfied just now?
Slowly and gently, she opened her eyes again. She looked at that orange sky, at the dying sun. Again, she felt satisfied. Just by looking at even the dying sun. Just even by looking at the ugly scenery, she felt satisfied by it. Again, she thought about it. If only... If only there were more feelings just like now, then... Then at least... At least, could she smile again in that world. In that world in the middle of nothing. If only there were more feelings just like now, then could she know the meaning of those feelings just now?
She didn’t know. She was not so sure about those things. But, well, what kind of things could she do besides that? What kind of things that had more urgent matter besides that? At least, this thing piqued her interest. At least, she finally had something she needed to do. Then what was the matter? That was no problem with wanting to do something, even in this empty world. In this world with emptiness. In this world filled with nothingness.
At least, she was alive...
That was what she thought.
And then, she began to take a small step. She raised her right leg ever slightly making her clothes fluttered. She was curious. She needed to know what was that feeling. Even though it might sound unimportant to anyone else, but there was no one else besides her right now. So what was the big deal? Then, she slowly, and firmly lowered her right leg. While looking at nothing, hearing nothing, while feeling nothing, she took a small and definite step forward...